Friday, June 13, 2008

I do it myself!

Max has this little sister, Bella. She is very small, and very funny.

One of our favorite shows on the Playhouse Disney Channel is a cute little cartoon called "Charlie and Lola." The show is about two little children: a boy named Charlie, and his funny little sister, Lola.

There are also books based on these characters, and Bella's favorite of these books is one called "I Can Do Anything That's Everything All on My Own." Bella asks us to read it to her over and over again, and she chants this phrase like it's her own little mantra.

"I do it myself!" is a phrase that is heard frequently around our house these days. Bella is two, and she is desperate to become more independent, just like her Big Brother.

The problem is that Max is 6. And Bella is 2. And two-year-olds just can't do the sorts of things that six-year-olds can.

Of course, there's no explaining that to Bella. If Max can climb up the slide instead of walking up the stairs, so can Bella. And if Max can swing on the Big Boy Swing instead of on the Baby Swing, then so can Bella.

Except that she can't.

And so we battle. Every day, we battle.

I find myself using all of the tricks that I learned when I was studying to be a teacher. How to say "No" without actually using the word "No."

"Yes, you can do that. Later."

And how to give choices that aren't really choices.

"It's time for bed. Do you want to go to bed wearing your pink pajamas, or do you want to go to bed wearing your purple pajamas?"

And then I wait while she tries to put the pajamas on by herself.

And I wait. And I wait.

It takes an incredibly long time to do things when one is two.

Here's my dilemma -- on the one hand, I know that she needs to learn how to do things for herself. I can clearly recall how much easier life became once Max was able to dress himself, and to feed himself, and to take care of toileting on his own. I know that, with time and with practice, she will eventually become faster when she does these things.

On the other hand -- she is SOOOOO slow right now!

It takes me two minutes to change a diaper, and it takes five times as long for her to go to the potty by herself. Yes, I would love not to have to spend money on diapers anymore. But I would also like to dry my hair every once in a while instead of sticking it up in a ponytail every day. Bella can't "do it myself" without adult supervision right now, and there's only so much time in a day. Something has to give, and usually it ends up being something that I want to do.

But I guess I signed up for that when I agreed to become a Mommy.

So I wait. And we battle. And then I wait some more.

And while I am waiting, I hope, and I pray, that I am raising an independent little girl, who will grow up to be a strong, independent woman....who will one day give birth to a child, who will turn two years old, and who will insist on saying "I do it myself!"

2 comments:

dB said...

100% with you on this one. Currently the "battle" with MJ is the "I want to get in the car and put my seatbelt on myself" - which would be fine if she actually did it in any reasonable time frame. But no. She has to laboriously climb into the car, shrieking if I help. Then comes the "da-da-da-da-da-da-daaaaaa....oh yeah" period before she gets into her seat. Then another period of struggle before the straps go over her shoulders, and then, slowly, painfully, the three clasps on the seat get put together. Oh and the greatest part? Can't undo ANY OF IT, so she can't get out by herself. And if I help I will have a sobbing toddler on my hands. So I go into scout leader/McCotter coach mode - stand over her like a DI going "let's go let's go let's GO...get in the seat, put your seatbelt on, now now now now NOWWW...." Not terribly useful, I suppose, but it helps me deal with the frustration, plus it's a prelude to me helping ("You better get that thing on or I'll do it myself..."). I think they'll be great at performing under pressure later :)

Excellent blog, well-written.

Old shoe.

Love, dB

P.S. - I just migrated my blog over to my Google account and updated the look, my profile and added some links, does that count?

Muser | Writer | Traveler said...

Michelle I am really enjoying your blog and will link to you in my blog so others can enjoy your blog also. You make me laugh :-)